


Eloquence was Not His Strong Suit

by zestycheck (breathingfire)



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-01
Updated: 2017-08-01
Packaged: 2018-12-09 20:17:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,240
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11676333
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/breathingfire/pseuds/zestycheck
Summary: Taako has an overwhelming feeling, one he hasn't had in over a hundred years.But how do you explain to someone that they're not just dust, and moreover, howhugethat is?





	Eloquence was Not His Strong Suit

**Author's Note:**

> i'm posting this before listening to today's episode so its still technically not non-canon heh
> 
> i wanted taako being happy in an emotionally satisfying relationship before my heart gets inevitably destroyed today *thumbs up*
> 
> EDITED a little to better fit with the canon from today's ep

It was after a kiss that Taako realized: Kravitz is _not dust_. They were just hanging out in Taako's apartment (although Kravitz practically lives there, too), on the bed, just lazily kissing. Taako breaks away after a few moments, and just leans his forehead against Kravitz's when he has this revelation. And it's so overwhelming. Kravitz is not dust, he's here to stay, and this is the first time he's thought that about someone other than the IPRE. Even after living on this plane for more than a decade, the people here still feel transient and unimportant to Taako. But not Kravitz.

The realization is just so overwhelming and he can't even articulate it to Kravitz. How do you explain to someone the feeling of passing by a century’s worth of souls? Much less the sensation of it ending? Taako's eyes mist over and his chest constricts as he just looks at Kravitz, and it occurs to him that he's not going away, he's permanent, he's staying. Kravitz is looking at him with concern at this point but Taako doesn't care, because he's so _happy._

“Taako, are you alright?” Kravitz whispered.

“Oh, better than that, bubbela,” Taako whispers back. He shakily brings his hands up to Kravitz's face and smiles. “You're just… so important to me.”

Kravitz's eyes sparkled, and he smiled wide. “You're important to me too, Taako. I love you.”

“I love you, too. I just… I just realized how _much_ I love you. And it's… a lot.” Eloquence was never his strong suit. He grinned. “You're permanent! You exist!”

“That I do, Taako.” The concern is back, eyebrows knitting in worry. “You sure you're okay?”

Taako took a deep breath. “It's complicated, and very… weird. I don't even know if I can explain it,” he hedges. “Okay, I really… I really want to try to explain this to you.”

Kravitz raises an eyebrow but sits up, attentive. He really does want to know this, then.  Taako sits up and faces him.

“Okay, umm…” Taako is not entirely sure how to start. He reaches for Kravitz's hands on impulse, and the temperature and reassuring squeeze Kravitz gives him grounds him.

“So… I'm not… native to this planar system. My home had a purple sky and two suns, but otherwise it was super similar to this world.” Taako knew Kravitz knew all this already, but there was something cathartic in saying it all out loud. Frankly, this was the first time he had said _any_ of this out loud. At any rate, Kravitz didn't interrupt him or cut him off, so he continued. He squeezed Kravitz's hands.

“I worked for a place called the ‘Institute for Planar Research and Exploration’. And so did Magnus and Merle, and my sister Lup. And Barry and Lucretia and Davenport, you've met them before.” Taako nervously laughed a bit, but kept his focus trained on a spot of the bed next to Kravitz. “Our mission was set to be four months long, basically amounting to dicking around the planar system, taking measurements and shit. Well, that didn't exactly go according to plan. We barely escaped our reality before the Hunger came and devoured it. Almost everyone I ever knew, aside from those six chucklefucks, were dead within seconds.”

Taako stopped when he felt Kravitz's hand brush his face, and he realized a couple tears had leaked out without his noticing. _Dammit_ , if he's tearing up already, how is he going to get through the next hundred years?

“I can't imagine living through that,” Kravitz said, softly.

“Well, you almost did, bubbela. Not that it really mattered, all I had at that point in my life was Lup anyway. You know, the whole 'growing up on the road’ thing really lends itself to trusting people.” Taako took a shaky breath and looked away. Kravitz returned his hand to Taako's. “Anyway, cue a hundred years of running from the Hunger. We would get a year on a Material Plane, and we would have to find the Light of Creation before the end of that year. And then everyone in that system would die, or get absorbed by the Hunger, or if we actually got the Light in time, they wouldn't. But either way it shakes out, we still had to leave at the end of the year.

“And I tried in the beginning, I really did. I made a few friends, had a few flings, but it always had to end. After a couple cycles I realized: what was the point? What was the point of trying to connect with people that I was never going to see again? So I stopped. I stopped caring about anyone besides myself and my crewmates. Because everyone else was just… just talking dust.

“And then we arrived here. And we were made to forget. And even then, even when I couldn't remember _why_ , I just... couldn't connect with people. Because something in the back of my mind told me they didn't matter. That they would disappear too.

“But what I'm trying to say here… 'Cause, you know, there actually was a point to this…” Taako chuckled to himself. “It's that you're _not_ just talking dust to me. Which, when I say it out loud, kinda sounds like a really low bar. But this is the first time I've felt this way about someone other than my six crewmates in over a hundred years. And I just…” It was incredibly difficult to say the next part; his tongue felt leaden and he still couldn't meet Kravitz’s eyes. “I really, really want you to stay in my life.”

Kravitz was silent for a few moments, but Taako’s sudden panic stretched it out for an eternity. What if this is finally just too much? The straw that broke the camel's back? He said too much, laid too much bare, and Kravitz freaks out and leaves. This was somehow more nerve-wracking than the first time he said “I love you”. He feels exposed, and feels certain he will be hurt for it.

Kravitz took a deep breath through his nose. “Thank you for sharing this with me, Taako. I know that wasn't easy for you to do.” His hand reaches up to cup Taako's cheek again, and his expression is soft, almost sad. “I have been working for the Raven Queen for centuries, perhaps even millennia. I have passed by thousands of souls during that time, and they all rolled off my back like water. I didn't think anything of it, but not truly knowing even a single soul wore on me. You, Taako, are the one who broke the mold; the outlier, the exception. The edge case.” He laughs once and a couple tears start running down his cheeks. “And I am all the better for it; I have not felt more appreciative of existence than when I'm with you. And if you would let me, I can think of nothing better than being by your side for as long as you'll have me.”

A moment of silence. “That's just -” Kravitz is looking at him like he's all of the stars in the sky, like he's his entire world, “- _incredibly_ gay.”

And Kravitz is laughing now, loud and joyous. And they're both rushing forward to kiss, and perhaps their teeth crash together but Taako _doesn't care_ , because he _loves_ this man and _is loved_ in return. And it all feels _right_.

**Author's Note:**

> a couple days later he realizes ango is also not dust and he hugs the kid for a long while
> 
> feel free to follow my taz tumblr [@zestycheck](https://zestycheck.tumblr.com)


End file.
